I used to think that what the world thought of me mattered.
I used to think that it was those around me, I had to please. I used to think that I had to do this- do that, say that-say this, be this- be that for those around me- for the people of the world. I used to think I had to think as others did, see as others did, and hear as others did.
I used to think that I had to be this person, whom I never felt I was. Who I fought so hard to be, so hard to receive the love I always felt I didn’t deserve. A love, I knew I would never be good enough for, because I couldn’t quite get it right-
FOR THOSE AROUND ME.
Weird, they thought, Ugly, they always said, Fat, I always heard, Crazy, they made sure I felt it. Not like them, they made sure I knew.
Unworthy, they grew to believe, Unloved-most definitely so. Shouldn’t be here-
I DIDN’T THINK SO.
See, I used to THINK, this was what mattered most!!
I used to think that in “everything” I did- I HAD TO PLEASE, those AROUND ME.
I had to struggle, feel, look, and act a part that was simply not for me.
I USED TO THINK, this is what life looked like, that there was no such thing as being YOURSELF. I had to move as they moved, I had to try and present this image- that
THEY THOUGHT WAS PERFECTION.
I CONSTANTLY HAD TO PROVE MYSELF- TO THOSE AROUND ME.
I used to think all they said mattered!!
If I didn’t live a life that was PLEASING TO THEM, then I was NOTHING, as they constantly made that known.
I HAD TO BE SOMEONE I was not.
STRUGGLING to please those around me, aiming to be good at stuff,
I DIDN’T EVEN LIKE.
Giving up parts of me, THAT I LIKED, but felt like anything that didn’t FIT their image, I had to hide.
Hence, why I spent so much of my time ALONE. Because I simply couldn’t LIVE UP TO their expectations.
I used to THINK, all that mattered.
Cried in silence- and lived in pain, because of those around me.
As I used to THINK ALL THAT MATTERED.
Why, did I think ALL THAT MATTERED?
Why did I have to be what THEY WANTED ME TO BE?
Why did I have to live THEIR LIFE for me- and NOT MY LIFE FOR ME?
Why did I have to CRY IN SILENCE-LIVE IN PAIN?
Why didn’t I know then what I know now-
THAT NONE OF THAT MATTERS?
Why?
Well, here’s WHY!!
Satan comes to steal, destroy, and even kill, he comes to attack us mentally and physically.
Trying to present this picture of life, “HE BUILT ON A LIE”,
one that makes him look good and GOD look bad.
He begins his attacks the moment we are conceived because He knows that we are GODs. He knows that the Lord has created us, sculpted us with HIS own hands, molding our minds, bodies, and souls to HIS perfection.
He knows that he only has an allotted time to take us out, by any means necessary. So those that truly don’t know Christ, are his to use,
by any means necessary.
He slithers around at our feet, slipping in corners, whispering in ears, planting his evil seeds to all that will hear.
He is strategic, a planner, and the King of Deception, that many underestimate. Because they don’t have the wisdom that God grants.
Whether it is because they were never taught, didn’t believe, or just chose to ignore it. Many say don’t put much thought into it, but at the end of this day and all days, he is real…
just as real as Our Heavenly Father and His precious Son, Jesus.
If the Lord didn’t want us to know, He would have never told us in
HIS WORD.
He would have just let it be.
BUT THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE TELLS OF satan’s DECEIT.
does it not?
WELL AT LEAST THE “HOLY BIBLE” I READ DOES,
hmm…
if you are reading anything else, well- let me say-
LORD HAVE MERCY ON YOUR SOULs.
If God brings this to our attention in the very first Book of the Holy Bible,
why are you not paying attention?
Why are you acting as if he is not real, that the Lord didn’t tell us,
he was the one that deceived Eve?
He is the reason why
WE WERE BORN INTO A SINFUL WORLD,
he is “THAT one” the Lord speaks of and reminds us to be careful of.
He is “THAT one” some actually choose to follow,
sadly and unfortunately,
BUT TRUE.
So, why are you acting as if GOD WORD IS UNTRUE?
I’m still in disbelief myself, to think that people in this world,
actually choose to follow
someone so evil, so unworthy of anything, so deceitful, so against MY FATHER. But just like him,
they are jealous and deceitful too.
So against God’s TRUTH.
So, this is why…
I USED TO THINK WHAT OTHERS THOUGHT, SAID, OR DID-MATTERED!!
BUT GOD TAUGHT ME AND SHOWED ME-
IT DOESN’T!!
The ONLY ONE that I aim to be like is Jesus!
The ONLY ONE that MATTERS IN THIS WORLD AND AFTER-
IS GOD!!
He is the ONLY ONE, that I CHOOSE to PLEASE!!
He is the ONLY ONE,
I worry about what I am saying, how I am acting, and what I am thinking.
He is the ONLY ONE, I worry about
HOW I LOOK.
Because I already know that
I AM BEAUTIFUL.
Because I already know that
I AM SMART.
Because I already know that
I AM WORTHY.
Because I already know that
I AM LOVED.
BECAUSE GOD CREATED ME IN HIS IMAGE,
THIS TOLD ME I AM THIS AND SO MUCH MORE.
BECAUSE GOD ALREADY CHOSE ME-
THIS MADE ME WORTHY.
BECAUSE GOD IS LOVE-
THIS MADE ME LOVED.
BECAUSE GOD IS….
I no longer have to worry about WHAT I USED TO THINK!!
BECAUSE GOD IS…
WHAT THEY THINK- DOESN’T MATTER- ONLY HE DOES!
God is reaching out to you,
He is reminding those who once knew Him he is yet HERE.
He is telling those that are searching for “something”, that HE IS IT!!
He is waiting for those who found HIM to ACCEPT HIM!
HE IS SAYING TO YOU,
YOU no longer have to worry about WHAT YOU USED TO THINK!!
HE IS SAYING I CHOOSE YOU!
♥ BECAUSE I LOVE YOU ♥ THE CHOICE IS YOURS TO LOVE ME BACK ♥
❤ Stay Safe~Stay Encouraged~Stay Blessed ❤
Always W/Love,
Journaling To My Truth